When I think about how many baseballs I haven't hit, how many academic events I haven't participated in, or, more recently, how many blog posts I haven't written, I soon realize how many memories I don't have due to my inability to maintain a passion.
But wait, there's more. My problem goes further than that. Because I don't have an ability to maintain a passion doesn't mean that I don't have the ability to start a passion. Hence my catch 22: instead of just being lazy, I force my self into disappointment from all my unfinished projects.
So, I beg the question: how do you keep your passion?
After thinking for a good part of five minutes, I can only think of two things I have been able to maintain over the years ... eating, and sleeping. I did go through a stage in my adolescence that put even my ability to sleep consistently in jeopardy. However, I have prevailed thoroughly in that regard in recent years.
I now become nervous every time I develop a new interest, such as feeding my cat. Hopefully I can continue that desire to put food in his bowl every morning (but I will admit, him constantly knocking over our drinks at the dinner table isn't boding well for his future).
If any of you have advice, it'd be well received. Allow me to soak up your wisdom.
Thanks in advance.
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6 comments:
This is a tough one. You remind me so much of my brother. His therapist recently helped him realize something. Here's how he put it (on that stupid Facebook "25 things" meme):
"I’ve always felt lazy because the concept of maintenance is the bane of my existence. My therapist has helped me see that I’m actually not lazy at all; I’m always giving 110% in some area—it’s just often not the one in which I have committed myself."
That being said--I have no idea what the solution is. I would love to keep reading your blog because I love the way you write--but honestly, you've got to WANT to blog. You shouldn't do it as a "have to."
How's that for a total non-answer???
Incredible answer. And I like the quote you included, that makes so much sense.
I absolutely love to blog, but getting a crowd so quick kinda scared me off a little. It's hard to go back to writing about things because I was inspired by them rather than second guessing everything I put on the page because I now have someone out there who may dislike it.
That being said, I go through phases really quickly. I realize that the situation I am going through happens to everyone, but I just seemed to go through all the stages in one month.
Anyways, thanks for the helpful comment, I really enjoyed your insight.
I do understand the pressure. On The One-Minute Writer (my "other blog") I had very few readers. And suddenly it was named on Blogger's Blogs of Note list, and on that first day I had almost 150 times the number visitors I'd had the day before. It was nuts. I found myself totally stressing about whether or not the things I was writing were going to get people to stick around, and just wanting to do whatever it took to please the readers--the blog felt like it took over my life for a few weeks, and that didn't feel good. Things did slow down, and most importantly I had to learn not to try to please the readers so much. I'm still learning that...and still worry about what people think about what I write. But it's gotten a lot better.
I'm glad the comment helped--maybe I will ask my brother what the result of his realization was, and how he's handling that part of himself, so I can pass along his wisdom. And that way he's paying for therapy and you're benefiting. ;)
When I first started my blog I wanted to stay completely anonymous. And then it became way more personal and now I feel like I'm all over the board. I don't find my posts particularly interesting but I love the interaction! I wish I could streamline it somehow but I don't have the time to spend on it that I would like!
As for the readership...that caught me off guard. I figured people would stumble upon me (because of the name), realize there's nothing to see and keep going. But a lot stayed! I don't pay attention to the numbers anymore. If somebody wants to keep coming back that's great. Otherwise I hope they find a spot they DO like!
You obviously like to write and you're great at it! You have interesting experiences and stories so just pop in when you can and toss us a bone!
:)
C. Beth -- Thank you very much. That personal story relates to how I feel so much. Like I said in my original comment, I know that other people go through this, so I feel a little guilty complaining about it. Thank you for sharing your story.
Simplicity -- Again, the same thing as I've said above. Your story makes me feel better because I can identify with it so much. Thank you so much for sharing.
I hope to get to writing more this month!
Welll, Josh. I did wonder if you had "crashed and burned" when you didn't blog for so long. I'm glad to hear you haven't quit. The bottom line is, you have to get some satisfaction out of it or it isn't worth the time it takes. Life is all about choices.
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