Cars ... The Word You Love to Hate

Have you ever noticed the only time you ever talk good about your vehicle is right after you buy it? That enthusiasm seems to dwindle away shortly afterwards ... why is that?

Well, I am here to break the cycle, if only for just three minutes. I'm here to talk about my car problems, only in a new light. Here goes: the story of a car; a friend who likes to get me from A to B ... barely.

First, I love how my 1,000 dollar repair on the catylitic converter didn't fix the problem. It's a great conversational piece with both friends and strangers alike. "Yes, it does in fact sound like Gandalf and the Fire Demon are battling beneath my car. How nice of you to notice." Or, "You know what? I believe you're right; I think I will go call the dealership again and let them strip me of my innocence and increase the cynicism in my life. What was that number again?"

Secondly, I love how the side panel is coming off, so when I wear long-sleeved shirts, I get orange sticky insulation all over my clothing. It's especially fun when I'm in a college class -- I get the BEST conversations that way! "Holy crap! You're right! It's all over me ... how funny. It was also funny last class when Bob pointed it out, and in Psychology when I overheard Susy pointing it out to her friends. The people at this college are so perceptive!"

Thirdly, I love how the average estimated battery life is five years, but the battery life on my car is a week. I enjoy those extra mornings with my wife as we discuss the day's To-Do list over the ambiance of '95 Ford engine as I jumpstart the battery on her car.

Forthly, I love the roominess of a '2000 Volkswagen Beetle when we go on trips. I get that special "Me and You" time with my cat, him continually yelling in his carrier, me petting his face and whispering sweet-nothings in vain as I simultaneously look out for policemen because I don't have a seatbelt on. Those are the best times.

Lastly, I absolutely LOVE that the trade-in value of our car is already lower than what we've invested in it. There's nothing like knowing you've strategically placed your money in the most lucrative investments. I'm thinking about going into financial advising -- anyone interested?

So ends the story of my relationship with my car -- beyond the dealership lot. Oh how I enjoy the memories!