Let's begin.
Riding the coattails of the post on the difference between "Love Ya" vs. "Love You" (there is a difference!), I present to you real Love (not the one you find in a glass slipper or at the top of a tall, tall tower).
Before I describe what real love is, let me go all "philosopher" on you and tell you what love isn't. (That way, you might mistake me for someone who knows what he's talking about. We can only hope.)
What Loves Isn't
Love is not butterflies.
Love is not a tingling sensation.
Love is not "chemistry."
Love is not thinking about someone all day.
Love is not in a box of chocolates or pollen from a rose.
That's called Infatuation.
I get butterflies when my favorite UFC Fighter enters the cage against someone who might beat him.
I get a tingling sensation when I lose track of time reading an awesome article while in the bathroom.
I feel chemistry when I pour alcohol into a wound I received when trying to put in new windshield wiper blades for the first time (noooo ... that didn't happen *ahem*).
I think about someone all day when she's my boss and I have nothing to put in my Weekly Report.
I assure you that, when I married my wife, I did not do it because of the butterflies I got. (I was actually stabbed in the eye by a butterfly and took half the day trying wash out their "flying dust" from my retina. Not the best experience.)
What Love i....... Not Yet!
This is where you expect me to tell you that Real Love is picking scabs, scratching a hairy back, or showering while your better half "does their business."
That's just gross.
Love is a lot more than all of this, yet is as simple as any of these.
What Love Is
Love is a choice. Love is choosing to Talk With, Spend Time With, or Watch Project Runway With your significant other instead of watching your favorite UFC Fighter decimate that someone who never really had a chance at beating (I mean c'mon, it's GSP!).
Love is making mistakes. Love is watching your favorite UFC Fighter instead of Talking With, Spending Time With, or Watching Project Runway With (very unlikely) your significant other. It happens.
Love is forgiveness. Even though you neglected your significant other, whether it was for a day, a week, or even years ... they still choose to love (the real one) you.
I promise next time I'll go walk with you instead of watching UFC!
Love is making mistakes. Crap.
Love is a pendulum. One time you're on one end, another time you're at the other, but you're always in flux thinking how you can get your significant to the side of the pendulum they like the most.
Finally, Love is a State of Mind. Here's the easy, cliche, psycho-babble fact you hear all the time: Whether you choose to Love or choose to Hate, you'll be successful 100% of the time.
But let me run that by you again.
Whether you choose to Love or choose to Hate, you'll be successful 100% of the time.
The only thing you can guarantee that your significant other (you included) will do is screw up. It's gonna happen: over and over and over again.
It's the space in between those screw ups that defines the "Real Love" we all search for through the T.V. shows,
With time, a cumulation of The Small Things, and enough forgiveness, we can all really, really Love.
--The Shade-Tree Psychologist
Love is also turning to that someone after your most embarrassing, most difficult or most dangerous experience because you trust them to accept and understand.
ReplyDeletethis is brilliant
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize butterflies could be so freakin' dangerous!! I know better now
thanks for your visit
and thanks for the sarcasm comment, that's a high compliment for me
Tabor -- So true!
ReplyDeleteDianne -- I appreciate your sarcasm with "brilliant" as well *wink* *wink*
And no, thank YOU for YOUR visit :)
I appreciate your honest voice.
ReplyDeletedbs -- I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteTrying to work on the honest voice while condensing the message.
But not too small.
But not too large.
Like I said, still working on it :)
Thanks for linking to this!
ReplyDeleteMy post today was just a small bit of love from the POV of a 4 year old. I've written numerous times on my blog about what love really is- hard work, a choice, and an action. It's the verb in the sentence "I love you." But we treat it like a noun.
Great post!
Great! I felt bad linking it there, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like we have a VERY similar view on what Love is.
Pretty cool :)
Yikes! I knew that the *butterflies* of infatuation were dangerous indeed...it never occured to me, however, to be afraid of *actual* butterflies. Holy canoli!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it takes "literally" to a whole new level.
ReplyDeleteI'm still traumatized.
Years ago when Marriage Encounter was a really big deal, we went. One of the most important things they told us was that emotions are a choice! Mind blowing for someone whose mother always said, "Well, I can't help the way I feel." So I believed that too.
ReplyDeleteThat really changed my life. I have learned to CHOOSE to love and not be mad or offended (but of course, not ALL the time). It has made my life so much happier.
Sandra -- You just described what the past year of my life has been all about.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a HUGE difference of how YOUR perception affects reality.
Simply choose to be happy. Much of the time, that's all it takes.
It was nice to hear from you. I find this to be extremely inspiring. I remember when I went through depression and a psychologist helped me get through it. We all get bad times but life goes on and we have stand up again and live more strongly. :)
ReplyDelete